Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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