Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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