OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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