vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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