i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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