Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
