sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
