perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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