Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When are your genitals available?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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