All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
