it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
