I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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