i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm really busy with my period
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