Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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