She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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