youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Green mimosas i think yes
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
