I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
