better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
