If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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