Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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