btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
