Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
organizing the empties. That sober.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
