Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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