So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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