his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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