I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
