at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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