I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
