I smell stomach acid.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
