In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I intend to get homeless drunk
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
