Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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