Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
