After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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