I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
