Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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