Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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