I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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