I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
