Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
