is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
