I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
