uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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