Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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