that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
