THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
