Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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