Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
