Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
