her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
