my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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